How to Quit Porn by Brett H. McKay

Author:Brett H. McKay [McKay, Brett H.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: -
Publisher: Semper Virilis Publishing
Published: 2015-08-13T00:00:00+00:00

If you’re trying to stop using porn (for whatever reason) and you are calling it an addiction, you handicap yourself by starting off with a frame of reference that you don’t have, or can’t regain, control of your behavior. While acknowledging that porn is a significant problem in your life is healthy, I think there’s a point where dialing up the seriousness actually makes it harder to quit. It makes the problem seem like a giant boogeyman, something you won’t be able to shake without a big-time intervention, rehab, special expensive retreats, that sort of thing.

If, on the other hand, you think of your porn habit just like any other habit you want to break, that debilitating weight goes away. Telling yourself that you’re “changing a habit” seems more in the realm of possibility and puts you in a proactive mindset. Even the way most “porn addiction” experts treat compulsive porn use is exactly the same as how you break any bad habit from swearing to biting your nails; so if you’re going to ultimately address the problem as a habit, why not frame it as a habit from the get-go?

For these reasons I think the very best way to frame porn is as “sexual junk food.”The all-powerful drive for both food and sex have been around since the dawn of man. We’re evolved to eat natural food, intermittently, but now find ourselves with crap-tastic offerings available on every street corner, at every hour of the day. This never-ending glut of junk food can be difficult to resist, but if we don’t, we end up obese, anxious, and depressed. In exactly the same way, we’re evolved for sex…with flesh and blood humans. But in our modern world, we’ve got virtual sex on tap 24/7. Gorging ourselves on it diminishes our spirit, enervates our virility, and harms our relationships — all the very best things in life. Porn is sexual junk food that promises nourishment, but leaves us feeling sicker and emptier than before.

In saying using porn is a problem, I’ve ticked off those who are more liberal on this practice. And now, in saying it should be thought of as a habit rather than an addiction, I’ve likely earned the ire of those who hold more conservative positions. That’s okay with me. I can’t stress enough that the reason I think we should frame porn use, even of the compulsive variety, as a habit rather than an addiction is not because I don’t think it can be a serious, soul-sucking issue for some men. Rather, I’ve taken this stance because I know how debilitating a serious porn habit can be. If I thought that labeling compulsive porn use as an addiction could help guys quit, that’s how I’d label it. But I earnestly believe that it is quite the opposite.

But What About Porn in Moderation?

At this point, some of you are probably thinking, “But Brett, aren’t you making the argument that porn is okay to use in moderation then, if

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